Dealing with People that Drive You Crazy!

We all know someone who just drives us batty. Perhaps the person is too noisy, too borish, or too flashy. Perhaps the person is too gossipy, critical, or lazy. There are hundreds of reasons why we may not relate well to a person.

In my case, the person was both loud and talkative. He thought he was funny; I thought he was insensitive. So I decided to just ignore him... pretend he didn't exist. That strategy worked well for a few months until a close friend accused me of being rude.

"Rude?" I scoffed. "I don't think so."

"Ignoring someone is rude," Pat reminded me. "Acting like someone doesn't exist is one of the worst ways you can treat someone. You always told me that you hated feeling invisible yet that is EXACTLY how you treat Earl."

"But he just drives me crazy!" I said trying to defend myself. "If I talk to him I'm just going to say something mean and rotten. Isn't that worse?"

"At least you'd be acknowledging that he's human," she persisted.

"Barely!" I said.

I turned away in a red-faced huff. Pat obviously didn't understand! Still her words lingered in my mind. No matter how I tried to justify my behavior, I couldn't convince myself that she was wrong.

I had to change my behavior.

I started with very small attempts at conversation. First I offered a basic greeting, "Hi Earl."

Then I asked a question and listened to the response. Before I knew it, we were having real conversations, laughing together, and dare I admit, enjoying our new friendship.

Was it difficult to start talking with Earl? At first, most definitely yes. My first challenge, of course, was to climb down off my high horse without falling on my face!

But I'm glad that I dropped the mask of indifference. Earl has become a good friend. He can make me laugh at myself and the world because he doesn't take life too seriously. Yes, Earl can still be loud. He definitely talks too much; and don't share your secrets with him.

He still drives me batty at times, but for the most part, I just laugh and enjoy our friendship. It was only after becoming his friend that I realized how exhausting it was to ignore him. Now my energy is spent on other things... things, like Earl, that matter.

=================================================================
Copyright 2005. Donna Doyon, Activities Coordinator for Your Virtual Retreat is the author of GLOW: Renew Your Spirit & Release Your Inner Beauty. She offers information, inspiration and encouragement to people who want to say goodbye to self defeating attitudes and behaviors and hello to greater success, healthier relationships and more joyful living. Get inspired at her website: http://www.donnadoyon.com.

In The News:

3 Ways to Train Leaders and Why Your Campus Should  The Chronicle of Higher Education
Is Your Administration Building Obsolete?  The Chronicle of Higher Education

Feedback - How to Make it Effective

Let's look at the detail of giving feedback. Whether you... Read More

Why It Pays to Out More Humor in the Workplace

1. Humor reduces stress levels and stress is the number... Read More

Nine Ways to Contribute to Project Team Success

The world of work has changed. It used to be... Read More

Go On, Be A Tiger

From the moment he putted with Bob Hope on the... Read More

Working as a Winning Team

It's a great sunny day so it's time to get... Read More

Team Building Celebration Plan -- Perfect For Any Time of Year

When was your last team celebration? Have you been way... Read More

What Every Manager, Parent, and Teacher Should Know About How to Unify Employees, Families, & Youth

Project Head Start has been successful not only for the... Read More

Manage Expectations to Reduce Everyday Frustrations

Just today my partner Russ and I sat down to... Read More

How the P.R.I.D.E. Team Changed my Call Center

Several years ago I took an assignment as a Manager... Read More

How to Align Your Team through Change

Eight Principles for Purposeful AlignmentEffective teamwork requires individual members of... Read More

Always In Motion Is The Future

It's the summer of 1973, and a young film director... Read More

Getting Team Discussions Moving in The Right Direction

Group discussions are where much of the creative work of... Read More

Building Successful Work Relationships--Playing In The Same Sandbox

Remember playing in your childhood sandbox? If you enjoyed being... Read More

Building Teams

Young minds are quite easy to shape. International Terrorist recruiters... Read More

Team Building requires one great dynamic for true Success - Mateship

A Successful Team is built around mateship, around respect for... Read More

Teaming - How to Build a Team

Team building takes work but the results are worth it.... Read More

The 3 Secrets of Team Motivation

Are workers telling the truth when they say they are... Read More

Downsizing Your Team

Team Building Question:Our office has recently learned that about 20... Read More

The 5 Bes of Motivation

It's not true in every organization, but it is true... Read More

Top Ten Things About Team Building

People who lead the best teams realise early on that... Read More

Discovering the Truth on MLM

Truth on mlmDid you know that the truth on mlm... Read More

Effective Team Building For Organizational Success

"Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common... Read More

Winning Teams on the Football Field and in the Office

Teams, teams, teams. They're all the rage these days. Whether... Read More

Team Building Survey Reveals Clues, Not Answers

Team Building Question:I'm a manager of a team of 20... Read More

Designing and Deploying Human Centric Processes

A lot of effort has been carried out in the... Read More